Getting Butchered

Not that I want to use this blog to be Captain Bring-Down about my situation, but it appears many people are using it to follow what is happening with my cancer bullshit — so here’s the new scoop.

After 8+ hours of testing this week, it was determined my tumor was more aggressive than expected, and has already begun to gain ground after only a few weeks off of radiation. It is an asshole. Chemo will not work for my type of cancer, so I was told the solution: they are cutting away half of my outer thigh, all the way into my femur.

I knew that some muscle and tissue would be taken, but I was not prepared for how much. This was the first time I ever started to cry in front of a medical staff and I am not a weepy chick at all. I was told the tumor will just keep coming back over my lifetime if they don’t remove everything around it as far out as they can. The tissue will never grow back because of the radiation, either. Needless to say I’ve been freaking out about this and am more wondering what it would look like after it is healed. Maybe it won’t be as large an area as I think? Maybe I can have reconstructive surgery within a year? If I will have a limp or trouble walking for the rest of my life remains to be seen until I find out how my other muscles compensate. If I am unable to wear high heels ever again, I will be pissed!

The concern at the clinic right now is how my skin will heal and how long it will take because of the radiation. I have an ace orthopedic surgeon working on me, so I’m just going to let him do his thing. I never thought it would come to this.

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5 Responses to “Getting Butchered”


  1. 1 Jaime 09/11/2010 at 11:19 pm

    wow. I know we don’t know each other, but I am really sorry you are having to deal with this and now this news. Cancer sucks, I know. Don’t let it win, your life is soooo much more important than your gams.

    LEt’s think of a bright side here. Look how much more interesting your life will be to read about in the history books when you get famous 🙂

    chin up, crying is not a sign of weakness, surprise! you’re human.
    feel free to print out my picture and throw darts at it.

    • 2 vendettabella 09/12/2010 at 12:47 pm

      Thanks so much. I dunno I’m just not a crying type, can’t stand it and never could — dunno why. Oh well, I just keep hoping it won’t turn out as bad as I think it will once they actually get in there vs. what was demonstrated on an x-ray. At least I’ll have a good excuse to catch up on my reading while I’m laid up.

  2. 3 kevin coral 09/13/2010 at 1:31 pm

    i’m so very sorry to hear this. there are a bunch of platitudes i could spew but instead i will just say i am wishing you all the best, sincerely.


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