Two Days of Sloth

It was a short trip, but I’m back from Amish country. No photos this year, husband and I tried as much as we could to do nothing of interest and just lounge like beached whales. Our hotel was great as usual and all decorated for Christmas; husband describes the place as a 5 star hotel with a slightly creepy religious vibe. Hey for $80 a night you really can’t beat it, I think it is even better than some of the fancy-pants rich jerk places I’ve stayed at. Although it is for retired folks and families with children, husband and I always seem to do the sort of vacations that old coots would do. We get strange looks quite often though I’m not sure why exactly. Maybe I’d fit in better if I had little girls named Kaylee and Britney, seriously, there were at least 7 or 8 girls running around the place named Kaylee!

Most of the time was spent eating, sitting in the hot tub, and doing old coot things like drinking coco in the library while doing ajigsaw puzzle of men building a barn. Yeah that’s right baby, I was sitting there trying to put that thing together! Well, really the reasoning was that our hotel had free cookies and coco before dinner, and we didn’t want to look like jerks just taking the stuff and scrambling back to the room.

There is no alcohol allowed or sold in any of the public areas of these hotels — we learned this last year and found the local taverns in record time — so this year we came prepared with bottles of Champagne and spent many hours going through cable channels we never see at home. “Operation Repo” is now our new favorite show. We felt sort of weird and guilty boozing it up and watching crap TV while paintings about faith, hard work, and bible passages were placed around our room. I was also intrigued by the amounts of young adult books based on Amish girls and sexual tension that were being sold in the lobby. Well, not always sexual tension, but they seemed very Sweet Valley High in a more innocent way. Plots lines included: the girl who loves animals and the boy she likes who goes hunting, and the boy whose mother dies and he vows never to love another woman again (kinda creepy actually). I come to find out Amish romance novels are also really huge, who knew?

The big excitement of the towns around us was the dead body found in a field over the weekend. Shot in the head, and set on fire no less. Super creepy! Sounds like a movie to me!

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