Music Reviews: a big lie

That’s it, I’m done. They LIE. At least they do to me, and it makes me happy that I can at least check out a band’s website and see what a lie the review was. Most of the time I put it down to the fact that most music reviewers are younger and have no sense of history in music. What is now being called psychedelic, shoegaze, or even punk is very different than what it used to be, and the terms are being thrown around in a very sloppy fashion. I partly blame publications and webzines that let any asshole be a “music writer” even though they have no experience in good writing or doing any sort of research; they are what I call promo-sexuals, spewing anything they can think of to get label promos to sell at the local record store. Then there’s the writers who trash a band on purpose either because of something personal (this happens often actually) or just because that is what seems hip at the moment. These piss me off just as much because it means I could have missed out on something cool. I think the tipping point for me was the Jesus and Mary Chain reissues review on Bitchfork (I mean Pitchfork) and a review I just read today describing some wussy crap band as “shoegaze” and like minded of My Bloody Valentine’s “Loveless”. Yeah, both were total bullshit. Maybe they didn’t mean to be, but that’s what it was. So I’m done….that’s all….I quit….no more.

One of my favorite things, Chunklet Magazine, has always been right on the mark. Sadly because they tell it like it is and make enemies, it can hurt advertising revenue obviously for a print publication. Brian Teasley wrote a great piece once about how so many reviews led him to bad purchases because these writers lied. Sometimes they lie because of friendships or because they know the label will keep sending them free crap etc. Anyways, one thing I can say is spot on from Chunklet is Brian Teasley’s Band Bio Dictionary. After spending these many years in and around the music biz and getting promo packs, oh yes, his decriptions are spot on. I’m pretty certain that in some other dimension, Brian Teasley and I have mated to create the ultimate hell-spawn Army of the Night.

By the way, the new Stooges song that has been released is kind of weak. Maybe it is the digital compression, but the guitars are hardly there, and his voice is crap. I will still go to the concert though, despite everything I still have my crush on Ron Asheton. Enough so that I did this big ass painting of him, recently published in UK based Plan B Magazine

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