Stupid Girl

Some doodles I’ve been doing lately while my cats jump on me in bed. Some are real things I’ve heard, others are just things I imagine someone, somewhere, has said….

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Well, that’s a great non-reason to shoot a guy down, isn’t it?

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I know but that itchy faux fur made in Bangladesh and sold at Target is the bomb!

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I know, grody McGrodertsein, right? Internet stuff is for nerds!

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Because your iPod and your iPhone and your laptop and your TV and your Kindle are fucking useless!

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Girl, are you sure he doesn’t live in the neighborhood?

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And I could go get a late night snack at Arby’s any time I want. But, just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.

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Yeah. You basic.

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I know, living a pedestrian existence every weeknight is some straight-up Thug Lyfe!

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Yeah, you should pack your designer handbags up and go out to Cody, Wyoming. I heard Jackson Pollock lives there.

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FML

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I think you meant something else, girl, but if that’s how it makes you feel when a dude won’t stop texting, well… I guess I still don’t understand.

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I know, right? I heard that shit is what gave Morrissey cancer!

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Nah, You drunk and have a headache. It ain’t the grape skins.

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Bitch why are you always asking me? You have a phone, call and ask!

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He said that place is real, and it’s dope! I heard Kanye bought a cabin.

Portraits I Like Right Now

Portraits done in four styles…..

Dmitri Zhilinsky

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Arthur Devis

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The James Family 1751 by Arthur Devis 1711-1787

Lu Cong

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Agostino Arrivabene

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Paintings of Five Subjects

Monkey, Puppy, Kitty, Pie, and Girls. Who doesn’t love all of those?

Aron Wiesnfeld

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 Craig LaRotunda

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 Stephen Mackey

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 Jonathan Viner

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 David Miretsky

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 Joanne Nam

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Only One Leg To Stand On

I’ve been told I need yet another surgery. This time, a rod is to be put through from my ball socket of the femur down through to almost the knee. It appears my leg is about to break in pieces and the radiation I withstood to soften the cancer has taken its toll. I’m of a small percentage where people with radiation like that never recover. I was going to x-rays every 3 months, then 6 months, and this was my first one in a year. I thought it was all going to be fine since I got pushed to a yearly check-up after the last biopsy and MRI. But no. It’s so bad I’m supposed to be on crutches right now until the rod gets put in.

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A few people have asked and I need to clear some things up:

No, I’m not going somewhere other than Cleveland Clinic. I have my oncology surgeon who did my leg originally; my botched surgery 6 months ago was a whole other department and team. And really, that fiasco was down to shitty nurses who didn’t listen.

No, I’m not going out of state to another medical center. How on earth does anyone think I will get home with limited mobility, let alone the paperwork nightmare and the fact insurance doesn’t cover you out of network? Where will my husband stay? I had to cancel a DRIVING vacation to Canada because I couldn’t afford it this summer, ferchrisake. I mean, come on.

No, calcium and drinking milk won’t make it better.

No, the bone won’t heal itself (that’s kind of the whole point) and radiation after effects complicates the situation when metal gets involved.

Femur fractures are somewhat common, so this isn’t a dodgy operation like my first leg surgery was.

No, this has nothing to do with my knee or my missing muscles; this isn’t going to make me walk “better” it is just reinforcement to make sure the bone doesn’t shatter inside, because if it does, that means the leg gets amputated.

I know people have good intentions, but don’t you dare send me any related articles, WebMD posts, or lecture me about an all-natural organic hippie diet.

To be honest, I know I handle this crap with humor most of the time, but I’m tired. There are more things I’m getting checked up on in December and this came out of nowhere disrupting everything. I’m done. I don’t even know what to say anymore. I guess I shouldn’t have thrown out my walker last year.

Process of a Double Portrait

Lately, I’ve been doing commissions with symbolism that had to be hinted at, but not in a heavy way. I’ve been working on this double portrait for a couple celebrating their ten year anniversary — and it was a surprise for the husband! It’s so difficult trying to guess about a person through secretly snapped photos, but thankfully, the likeness turned out very well.

This couple also had something terrible happen that they have overcome together. I found a few ways commemorate that without it being too “Captain Bringdown” or anything like that. We agreed it was supposed to be more on the lighter side, but with that hint of subversive whatnot that I tend to paint in my personal work as it is. This was a really special piece for me and I’m happy with the result.

I don’t normally like showing too much process with my work, but I decided to do photos from start to finish this time around. I never know if people see the stuff I do, or things that needed fixing. I must have gone over that background in various shades of grey and green for a week before I stopped messing around with it!

What you don’t see, is “Judge Judy” on in the background, and me yelling “STOP THAT” at my cats every 30 seconds. Working from home hasn’t been totally easy.

This was oil on linen.

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and varnished…

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click to enlarge if you want to see all the little detail (like every eyebrow hair etc.)

Dress Up Your Devices with My Art!

After a few too many complaints about the quality of their products, I have moved on from Society6 and am now selling through the company formerly known as GelaSkins. You can view my new shop here. (use code SUMMER25 for 25% off)

I had seen the prints that Society6 has done over the years at people’s homes, and thought they were pretty good. Perhaps Society6 should have stuck with them alone. The amount of people who told me they got orders refunded because of shoddy cheap products was finally getting to me (and that is just the people who told me!) I admit that both my iPhone cases cracked in a strange area — I don’t think I ever dropped it. I’m not a fan of my art on throw pillows, tote bags, or any of that nonsense. The other thing was Society6 didn’t have iPad cases or anything for Kindle. Well, as of now you can find skins for all those things, even Nook and other products!

I am getting something for my Kindle Fire for sure…

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I’m curious to know how well the prints on fancy paper, and on canvas turn out, so someone order a few and let me know!

I Almost Slipped On A Mason Jar

The other week I almost slipped on a mason jar rolling around on the floor in a dark club. I found 3 total on the floor that night! It was the one night I decided to go out without my cane, btw. I picked the jars up so no one else would fall on them. It was ridiculous.

For the love of fucking God, would bars please cut it out with this mason jar glassware trend already? It just tells me you are too cheap to get real glasses. Guinness in a mason jar is not cool, it’s bullshit. Are you really going to put that nice $6 IPA craft brew in a mason jar for me? Really? Dump that sucker into a real glass or I’m ordering a bottle next.

A snooty bartender with a rockabilly bump of a ponytail once saw my face and said, “what are you, like, unable to drink out of that or something?” AS A MATTER OF FACT YES BECAUSE IT’S WRONG.

Hey kids, when mason jars as glassware are being served at airports, are being sold at WalMart with stems, being sold at Walgreens for $8 when made of plastic, and now being made fun of on Pinterest:  it’s over.

In fact, here’s a little something my best friend and I came up with a couple of years ago!

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There is a running joke with my friends that I am the number one mason jar hater, ever. This is not true. They have a place in society at times; a country gin and tonic perhaps, an iced tea, or preserving food as was their original and intended use. I always saw them as best utilized in a garage, holding screws and bolts. However, a margarita in a mason jar isn’t cute (unless you are a woman with the IQ of a Tic-Tac), and neither is walking around with one at a rock concert. In fact, the ‘I remember we drank out of these and jelly jars when we were kids because we were poor’ line is something I hear most often by anyone over 30. I mean seriously are milk bottles going to be next? Are the music venues and twee artisanal establishments going to start serving cocktails or beers out of MILK BOTTLES?

One day when the world ends, I will be left in a post-apocalyptic landscape, with a bionic leg, a sweet Tank Girl or Mad Max wardrobe, and I will fight the remaining mason jars with all of my smashy-smashy strength! Sure, after the apocalypse mason jars might come in handy for something close to their intended use — and I won’t care!

No one needs hipster artisanal rhubarb after the apocalypse.


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Cable knit sweater and sequin skirt. #knits #knitwear #fashionillustration #fashionsketch #greensweater #drawing #illo #fallfashion #knitting #illustrators Sun came out, sorta. #lakeerie #Cleveland #skyline Knit cap, 2012 sharpie and digital. #fashionillustration #knitwear #knits #fashionsketch #drawing #fiberfashion #fallfashion #lineart #knitdesign 🍂

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